This week has been absolutely amazing – and not just because it was my birthday! This year, the outpouring of love from friends and family was astounding. I still can’t wrap my brain around all the beautiful messages people took time to send me (thank you, thank you, thank you!!). This week was also a whirlwind because so many loved ones requested to see me for some quality time, and I find myself being a blissfully happy pile of tired mush this morning!
But I have also had this funky nagging feeling I haven’t been able to shake, even despite all the fun I’ve been having. It’s almost like this sense of “I’m running out of time”. Not in a depressing we’re-all-going-to-die kind of way. More like a fear that as there is so much to see and be done in this lifetime, that I won’t be able to fit it all in! Granted, turning 33 (**gasp**) does not make me ancient by most standards, it certainly has felt like a monumental year. There have been so many great changes – growth in my business, new friendships, releasing of old wounds – I can honestly say these past few years have been some of the best of my life. I have also found in my 30’s a confidence that I have never had in myself before, and am finding that I really like ME!
So when it came time to do my weekly oracle card pull post, the question on my mind has been “What gives?” I wanted clarity around why the Debbie Downer in my mind felt the need to show her face. Here’s what I got:
“I embrace the element of air and am open to all knowledge and wisdom”
Intellect and thought, movement and change. Move, expand, active participant in your own life.
Nectar of Life
Slow down and enjoy the little things. Spend time with family and friends. Embrace life and do the things you honestly enjoy, that bring true pleasure. Sweetness of life.
Withholding · Paranoia · Stinginess · Frugality
Tap into the abundance of the universe by sharing your heart. Do not believe there is not enough (to meet my needs).
Of course the OCD in me required that for my 33rd year, I pull 3 cards. Side note: the number 3 in numerology resonates with the energies of optimism and joy, inspiration and creativity, speech and communication, imagination and intelligence, friendliness, kindness and compassion, energy, growth, expansion and the principles of increase, spontaneity, broad-minded thinking, demonstrating love through creative imagination, fulfillment, encouragement, freedom-seeking, adventure, being brave, self-expression, youthfulness, enlivenment, manifesting and manifestation. Neat!
So what does this all mean? The cards are an acknowledgement of the fact that I am exactly where I need to be. It is a continuation of last week’s reading that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be at this time – enjoying the freedoms I have worked so hard to develop. To not become lured into negative thinking that could potentially get me stuck. It is easy to build regrets if you are second-guessing yourself or not showing up for your life every day. Each and every day is an opportunity to experience something great, and when fear or doubt talk you out of DOING, you wind up feeling as if life is passing you by.
In my 20’s, I largely cared what others thought of me. These days, that happens less and less. What I have found is that I am happier and more fulfilled, and this has been because the happiness I find comes from within. I no longer look to others to meet that need – this does not create a stable and enduring contentment. There is a security that comes with settling in and taking a breath. In music, there is a term called being “in the pocket” (which Urban Dictionary defines as when two or more people play musical instruments together, and are perfectly on-beat, never missing a note or going off tempo in any way). I often help clients attune into the sense of this word by helping them connect with imagery that aligns with this message. Find a way to identify something that you do so well, so effortlessly, that you feel in the groove. This is the center that you want to come back to again and again, as often as you can, any time you find yourself wandering off into depression or anxiety.
I decided that I needed an intention to set at the start of my 33rd year, much like a New Year’s resolution. I want to commit to keeping this sense of peace with me every day. I will revisit this any time I start to feel a little lost.
I pledge to live my life to its fullest. I commit to living each day with the awareness that I will never get another like it, and that it is my duty to appreciate the gift of life I have been given. I promise to love myself enough to indulge in pleasures and banish regrets. I vow to make the lives of others happier and brighter in whatever way that is within my means.
With gratitude (and another year older and wiser),